let’s talk “reintegration”

Reintegration is defined as the action or process of integrating someone back into society. 

Anytime you leave a place you are expected to reintegrate. To adapt or bounce back to the new ways of doing things, and to keep on keeping on. Seems like a big ask when you have been away for over a year at this point, yet…I am for sure not the first one to go through this. 

Let me tell you how it’s going, for me. 

To begin, I am thankful for finishing our race in Europe, because it was less of a shock returning back to the states. (When we left Rwanda and went to Romania my head was on a swivel with confusion #cultureshock .) Once arriving back to the States we spent a week in Georgia at the base of Adventures in Missions; which is where we sat in on a lot of teachings about reintegrating patterns and tips. 

From there I spent time in Indiana with just my mom and doggos. It was slow, restful, and a clear window into things that I had not expected to shake me up. 

I noticed myself getting distracted by the water running for too long in the kitchen or the bathroom. The excess plastic water bottles.

The bed was TOO big, so I chose to lay on it from side to side so that I could feel my feet hanging off it.

I realized, that I really have no idea how to begin telling people about my year. I don’t know where to start, and maybe that is because I am still processing it.

Then to Arkansas with my sister, brother in law, and nephews. Here is where I realized and truly comprehended how much I missed. I left and Liam was only crawling, and now he is on a freakin’ bike! Elijah had more than enough to say, but simultaneously playing hard to get. Kayla and Ryan had become avid mountain bikers as I was away, and really took Arkansas by storm. 

I realized here how many choices there are. Which is ultimately TOO MANY. For example, I needed gas as I was driving (which is so expensive now), and there were three options coming up and I could not decide so therefore… I drove past all of them. Too stressful, and this is only one example. 

I realized that it is so easy to lose my focus from God in the rhythm of the days if I am not careful.

I realized that family is for certain the most important thing to me in this next season. 

I realized… that I really was gone for a whole year. 

From there, I had one more stop in New Mexico before the final stretch to Salt Lake. I spent time with a gal that is pretty much another sister to me, and I took no moment of those short 18 hours together for granted. 

I realized here that the simple life is in fact possible here in the US. 

I realized that there is no reason to fear time and distance away from someone you love, and who returns that love back to you. 

I was devastated to leave, and accumulation of all the goodbyes up to this point hit me. Excited to return to Utah, but also uncertain of what was there for me now… 

Rewind for a second. When I was preparing to leave for the race I never expected to come back to Utah. I began to mourn it, and even for the first few months and the winter season I grieved. I grieved the home on Wilson Avenue, I grieved the roommates, I grieved The Well Church, I grieved the community, I grieved the landscape, I grieved my job at the hospital. I grieved, and I grieved HARD. I thought the Lord was leading me in a direction to live in the south, and it wasn’t until February He began to turn the arrow back to Utah. I was confused, but then I realized the lesson in it. Lay it all down, because Utah in fact had become an idol. 

So I began the drive to Utah…

I want to write more, but I am at 700 words. Calculating all my thoughts in a concise way seems difficult, so I am going to space this out into some series to close this thing out called The World Race. Ending’s are hard. Give me grace, haha cause oof. 

xoxo 

d